Today, I felt like I hit a wall.
I was so tired after taking my family out for breakfast, and despite being J.’s last day in town, I had to lie down for a nap. I felt feverish and was afraid that I might be getting sick. I still didn’t feel well for several hours and when I dropped him off at the airport, he said that I should just cancel my appointments and stop cramming so much in my schedule.
So I did.
I canceled a dinner with a friend and also my caving trip to Warsaw Caves tomorrow. By the time I got home from the airport, I collapsed into a 2-hour nap. I woke up feeling a lot better.
I’d like to think that at 32, I am much better at saying ‘no’ now, but I realized that I still struggle with it at times. It’s difficult for me to see friends when I live so far away, so I have justified squishing people into my schedule.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve no regrets. I have been so happy to see so many faces. There were a few people whom I haven’t seen in several years, so it meant a lot that they took the time and meet up with me. Living far away now means that the relationships I make time for are important and valuable. I’ve had to leave a few people behind in the last few years, but acknowledge that that’s a normal part of life. I make time for people who make time for me.
Tomorrow, sitting around at home or at the library to do some planning. I am actually excited to be doing planning! That’s a good feeling to have when it’s not even August!
NOTE: After reading an article on the Wall Street Journal, I’ve realized I might be an ambivert. “The drawback to being an ambivert, Dr. Grant says, is that it can sometimes be difficult for them to know which side of their personality to lead with in a given situation. Unlike extroverts and introverts, who tend to know what energizes them, ambiverts may not always be so sure. That means they can sometimes get stuck—not realizing that they need to change their approach to feel more motivated.”